When Should You Message Your Tinder Matches?

Much has been written about how to time messages to your matches on online dating services. For sites like OKCupid, Match.com, or Plenty Of Fish, there’s a whole litany of unwritten rules to follow. Don’t log in on weekends, especially weekend nights. Don’t take less than 12 hours to respond. If she’s being flaky, take twice as much time to respond as she does. Basically, make yourself appear as detached and uninterested in online dating as possible. Most men are playing a medium-to-long term war of attrition on these sites.

On Tinder, throw these rules out the window. Tinder is a hyper-realtime distillation of previous dating sites, blazing fast cable internet to OKCupid’s 28k dial-up modem. The immediacy of Tinder is changing the face of online dating, but only for people who realize they’re playing the short game.

When you match, you might think it’s best to wait to send your first message. You would be wrong. I’ve watched female friends cycle through their Tinder profiles and match literally 20 guys in a row. If they rake in matches at such high rates, how do you expect to differentiate yourself after she’s matched 20 people more recently than you?

Like any other online dating method, Tinder is at its roots a numbers game. Maybe she liked your look. Maybe she was bored. Maybe her friends were swiping for her and she’s really not interested in you. The point is, you don’t know why she swiped you right. What you do know is that you have a chance, but you must message immediately or risk being gone from her mind. 

In this stage you’re still a long way from converting the match to a successful date, but the best way you can maximize your chances of actual interaction is to message her without hesitation. If you wait around to avoid looking desperate, you’re going to get lost in the sea of matches every girl has on reserve.

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